Evening nap
After experiencing Keyakizaka46’s group activities, Nagahama Neru is now restarting her solo career. This time, she has chosen to use unedited words and photos to record her daily life. This is her first short essay series.
First nap: At a Sentō in Nagasaki
Whenever I return to my hometown, I will definitely visit a Sentō with my father. The one that we often frequent is located on a high hill, so while soaking in the bathtub and looking out the window, an endless sea spreads out in front of my eyes. Furthermore, this Sentō is rather a bit too spacious for a small place like my hometown. But even though it is a Sentō with such an excellent location, view, and size, every time I visit, the women’s bathhouse will only have around three people, me included. Most of the time, I get to enjoy this luxurious 5-star Sentō by myself. I want to hide it away quietly so that it can be a secret base that belongs to me alone.
That day, the only customers of the women’s bathhouse consisted of me, an older sister in her late twenties, and a grandma in her seventies. With just the three of us we should have been able to stretch out our hands and feet to our heart’s content, but as expected, we all had another destination in our hearts. After a short dip, we each ran out and squeezed into the slightly narrow double-layered sauna.
It is often said that after being in the same sauna for a period of time, a sense of belonging, somewhat like a sauna team, will mysteriously develop. Of course, this was also the case for the three of us who crowded into the narrow sauna room. After steaming for one minute, sweat started dripping down along our ears and the three of us were already chatting. We looked like a soccer club, sitting shoulder to shoulder on the bench. So hot. A wooden hourglass hung on the wall and I kept a close eye on the falling sand within. The hourglass had just begun counting when I came in, but I couldn’t figure out how many minutes had already passed. Having said that, I didn’t even know how many minutes this hourglass could count. But even so, this hourglass was the sole sustenance for my spirit.
“I’m flipping the hourglass”, the grandma spoke to me. But the truth is, as someone who was solely concentrated on staring at the hourglass with a hot red face, I couldn’t be completely certain that her words were directed at me, so I looked towards the older sister beside me for confirmation. It seemed like it was in fact directed at me. “It’ll feel cooler if you sit below, I can lend you my yoga mat.” I did as the grandma said and moved from the cypress bench onto the floor. It felt cooler. Much cooler. It even felt a bit cold. There was such a big difference between the higher and lower spots! I secretly exclaimed, and took a look at the grandma who exchanged spots with me. She probably noticed the delighted expression on my face, and responded to me with a smile, “Right?”
In the silence, only the rising steam made a sound and our sweat kept dripping down. After taking a short break, "I’m proposing a position change!" I said loudly in the grandma’s direction. "Then you’re up next." The grandma gently said to the older sister. Like this, the grandma, the older sister, and I, completed a quiet yet spectacular formation change.
The first to escape was the older sister (although it’s not like we were locked in the sauna). "Excuse me, I'm heading out first." After saying this, she opened the door and went out. For a while, I fully enjoyed the cold air which came pouring in through the open gap the moment that she opened the door. In the shadow of her disappearing figure, I said in silent gratitude, "You are my savior."
The savior sister who created a breakthrough by not having her final moments during this strange sauna meeting, walked out of the sauna, turned around and plunged directly into the bath with a plunk to begin her "integration". The sauna term "integration" refers to a person who feels as if they have entered a spiritual realm when their entire body is extremely relaxed and empty. Although it is difficult to explain clearly in words, this is the general idea of it. Since acquiring this knowledge, I have often randomly searched for nouns to use with it.
I heard someone coming out of the bath with a splash. Great, I thought, I can head out now. But I never imagined that as I was about to get up, the grandma beside me would resolutely open the door. I'm a step too late!!! Although my internal body temperature had reached my tolerable limit, if two people enter at the same time in a square bath that was even narrower than the sauna, I still wouldn’t be able to clear my head. I could only take a long breath to relieve the heat. Can’t you just step out and wait in the bathing area? I struggled with this thought in my heart, but wouldn’t this be way, way, way too boring? What I’m pursuing is a kind of refreshing experience, to be able to quickly wash myself clean in the shower while sweating profusely, so that my whole body is still kept at a high temperature, and then jumping into the bath. That’s why it was necessary to raise my body temperature and keep it at my limit. It’s similar to feeling faint and having a burning throat from the summer heat, and then drinking a glass of beer that has been refrigerated to just the right temperature. Gulp, icy cool and refreshing. (Because I have not yet awakened the skills required to appreciate the taste of beer, the above is only my personal imagination)
While secretly peeking at the grandma, I stared at the hourglass in a daze. But the grandma had no intentions of stepping out. She looked super comfortable, soaking in the bath and integrating her whole body. Is it really okay for her to soak in the icy cold bath water for so long? I couldn't help but start to worry. But after thinking about it, it’s as expected of a sauna-er (I’ve run into this grandma many times in the sauna house), the amount of time that she can spend in an icy bath has become so long.
After making all the preparations, at last it was my turn to take a bath. I rinsed off my sweat in the shower, then sank into the bath. So cold. This is the feeling that I wanted! My thoughts began to blur, and my entire being sank into a state where my mind felt sticky as if it was about to melt away. Have I entered the legendary spiritual realm of integration? The voice within me couldn't help but celebrate this victory.
I don’t know if the older sister and grandma were already acquaintances or whether their relationship was still developing, but at that moment they were laughing and chatting away while warming up in the hot spring. Naturally, I joined in. It felt like we were comrades who had been together through thick and thin, and had formed a great bond between us.
The older sister worked at a ramen shop. She began talking about a part-timer at her shop who did not gain any weight no matter how much ramen and thick soup they ate. She was really envious.
The grandma liked cats, and told us stories about the many cats she had at home. Later, she even showed us her canvas bag, which was shaped like a cat.
Everything felt perfectly calm. It seemed like even the folds within the deepest parts of my heart were gently stretched and smoothed out.
Near my right abdomen, there’s a one centimeter deep pit. It’s a mark left after being bitten by a tick during middle school. I showed this abdomen scar to the two of them, and began to tell them this story.
It probably crawled onto me from the bushes on the way to school. Once at school I kept feeling a pin prick-like pain on the side of my stomach. It felt like a cocklebur (a type of weedy fruit) had stuck onto the inside of my clothes, and continuously rubbed at my skin.
Why am I so itchy? I wondered as I reached my hand in and scratched my stomach. But at the end of the day, it still did not go away. After arriving back home, I was showering when I suddenly noticed that something black had crawled into my body.
The thing’s antennas were still quivering slightly, and in that moment I realized. This was a living thing. I was so scared, it was as if time stopped. While completely naked and without any warning, I had my first meeting with this thing. It was no wonder that I began panicking.
“Mom!” I called my mom over while in this naked state. “There’s something in my skin!”. The only thing on my mind was to take the thing out as fast as possible. My mom instantly recognized that it was a tick. I remember that there were often news broadcasts about ticks during that period. (After being bitten by a tick, it’s possible that an infection can lead to death)
Although my mom was also shocked, when she saw the ridiculous state I was in, she found it hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. I had removed my contacts and could only see a blurry, black thing, so I was in a panic mode. “Look, its legs are moving!” Mom couldn’t hide the laughter in her voice. I also started laughing, because of the strange expression she made as she desperately tried to hide her laugh behind a serious face. In a panic, the two of us wondered about what to do, while unable to stop laughing at this rare experience of being bitten by a tick.
If the tick was pulled out directly, it’s head would stay in my body, so we went to the hospital without touching it. At the hospital, the tick was taken out using tweezers, while the stinger that remained in my body was frozen with liquid hydrogen and plucked out. (This is my personal blurry memory, it should not be taken as the correct method to treat tick bites)
The doctor who tended to me also thought that it was really rare to see a case of tick bite, and seemed triumphant. “It’s been removed!”, the doctor said, while showing the still-alive tick to me on a thick piece of kleenex.
Be careful! As I predicted, the moment when the kleenex paper was opened to reveal the small thing, it escaped as if someone had pulled the trigger at the start of a race. A five millimeter sized black bug had little chance of escaping from a human hand, but at the time I couldn't help but worry. Who knows whether or not this little bug would crawl into someone else’s waist again. But as expected, the little bug was soon wrapped back up in the kleenex paper.
After all that happened, the battle between me and the tick ended in a tie with both of us surviving (I welcome such a peaceful outcome), but until now I still have evidence on my waist that the thing had once existed in my body. Even now, we are still living together. In the future, although the scar may become fainter and fainter, my memory of that thing will continue to reside in my heart…
My story about me and the tick made me so nostalgic, I couldn't help but sigh. Since the story was a bit long, the three of us had all stood up from the hot spring.
After soaking in the hot spring, I quietly weighed myself on the changing room scale, put on a set of clean clothes, and walked outside. My father had not come out yet, and was still enjoying the top quality services of this 5-star Sentō. So, I bought coffee milk and began gulping it down. Suddenly, I sank back into my thoughts. The sauna team earlier was made up of members with completely different backgrounds, ages, appearances, and body states. The scar on my waist, the scar on my back (from when I fell off a tree while picking hassaku oranges), these all belong to me. I began thinking about these things that I had taken for granted.
I don’t envy others because of something or other, since no two people in the world are the same. Our hearts, our looks, or our bodies, are all unique. Everyday, I am conflicted by feelings of becoming like this or that, or wondering why I’m the only one who is like this. Although my realization happened after a trivial event, it feels like I’ve been saved.
Scans from Weibo
