Come rain, or come shine
She has an expressive gaze that conveys messages. Those who have seen Morita Hikaru's eyes would agree with this view. Although this is the case, however, within her heart she has her own thoughts. She chose her rhetoric carefully and clearly explained her feelings in a straightforward way. Regarding Keyakizaka46, and her love for the members. A fountain of words gushed out.
"KEYAKIZAKA46 Live Online but with YOU!" was broadcasted live on July 16th, it’s not an exaggeration to say that it was outstanding. It was a live that could only be held during this particular period and was held precisely because of this particular period. A lot of things happened on that day, what kind of feelings did Morita-san have while in anticipation?
When we first heard of the group’s name change, we had already consciously prepared ourselves for acceptance. Performing together with the members during rehearsals after a long time was very moving. I kept thinking, "As expected, Keyaki is great" and "Although I'm really looking forward to hosting the live, I don't want that day to come." Everyone else also said, "It would be great if time could stop." To be honest, I had complicated feelings while anticipating the day of the live.
It would be nice if you could try to express your feelings in this interview. Did you have a premonition about the name change?
Yes... During the stay-at-home period I often thought about the group, "What will become of the group and how will it develop in the future?", and gradually I began to discuss the future with the staff. I began to feel "Will we no longer be Keyaki?"
Many members said in blogs and interviews that "Right now, the only thing to do is to keep moving forward". How did you change your feelings, or how did you get yourself to accept this?
My true feeling is that I still can't fully move forward. In my blog after the end of the live, I didn’t lie to myself and so I didn’t write that I’m completely "Moving forward". The second-gen members often say, "As expected, Keyaki is best". However, the choice to rename is also not wrong. How we will develop in the future, or, should I say, I hope that we will become a better group in the future. It’s just that I don’t think the future will always be bright, and I also don’t think that the activities of Keyakizaka up to now can be done in the same way as before. I will keep in mind from now on that what was taken for granted before can’t be taken for granted anymore, and I will continue to work hard with a new heart.
I see. The rest of your days as a member of Keyakizaka 46 can also be referred to as a period for thinking about what you can do.
After the live broadcast ended, the other second-gen members and I felt as if something had burnt out. Of course, that live was not the end. For the last live scheduled to be held in October, many things can still be done. July 16 has become an unforgettable day in many ways, as it was the moment when the name change was announced to everyone. When rehearsals for the last live begin, the things that need to be considered will increase again. It would be great if I could cherish the time spent as a member of Keyakizaka more, cherish my relationships with the members, and exchange our opinions on future activities.
Before the live, the second-gen members were already holding back tears
Yes, Karin cried. But Karin's heart is burning. In fact, she’s a very passionate kid.
You wrote a passionate blog that expressed your determination. May I ask if Morita-san's heart is also burning?
Of course! We’ve discussed this topic once before. "Karin always has fire within her heart." Then she said, "No, it's embarrassing", and was shy (laugh). It’s likely that everyone is burning up inside.
Has the number of discussions regarding these topics increased between second-gen members compared to before?
Yes. Recently, the distance between everyone is closer than before, and the opportunity to discuss in-depth topics has also increased.
What about the first-gen members?
Although they’re not really in-depth discussions regarding the group, it is easier to talk to each other than when I joined. We don’t feel uneasy and we talk as much as we want. At least this is what I think, maybe the reality is different (laugh). Ah, the day before the live, Sugai-senpai gathered up the second-gen members and told us something similar to what she said the next day during the live’s MC. [Hearing her] say those words the day before the live, at a time full of various emotions, my feelings were the same as I’ve just mentioned.
I see. I think there must have been times when you felt shaken, how did you cheer up?
Before the live, the second-gen members were already holding back tears. Everyone probably tried their best to not cry. However, after "Garasu Wo Ware!" and I once again heard Sugai-senpai's words... The tears I had been holding back became unstoppable.
After "Garasu Wo Ware!" it went dark for a long time, and only the members' breathing and sniffling could be heard... At that time, I understood, "Ah, a major announcement is about to be made."
I also felt that the moment had finally arrived.
How did it feel to be immersed in the live performance before that?
I felt very happy. A performance after a long absence made me feel that, as expected, lives are great.
The setlist was also very powerful.
Relatively, there were a lot of coupling songs, it was a setlist that really expressed Keyaki’s worldview. We used most of the venue, and different songs had different stages. In fact, when I first entered the venue, I could only say "Eh, amazing!". How should I put it, the setlist was very powerful and made me very happy. I thought, "Yes, this is what Keyaki is!"
That's right. There weren't just shots of the music performances, but also performances using camera techniques and set changes. These were for pursuing the possibilities of a live broadcast and for bringing an era of Keyakizaka46 into existence.
I am very happy you say that. If it were a normal live, these things would be difficult to do and unimaginable. For example, every piece of music has its own stage and there was the effect of a constantly moving performance. Plus, great attention was paid to details, and on top of that, there were various performance effects. From this, I felt the enthusiasm and love of the staff, so we also had to put on the best performance and repay them with the live. That's how I felt during the live. The performance teacher (Yuki Nomura) also told us, "Let’s leave behind a historical chapter in which Keyaki performed in such a way for a live broadcast". I wanted to respond to his feelings.
I think it was indeed a live that will remain in the history of Japanese pop music. However, the history of Keyakizaka46 is coming to an end, and the group will set off again under a new name. What does Morita-san think about this?
I... To be honest, I want to carry on the path that Keyaki has traveled so far, or the system that has formed. Of course, if things are still the same as before there would be no meaning in starting again, but I still want to cherish the thoughts and enthusiasm towards performing that I’ve cultivated while being in the group Keyakizaka46. Although I don't know what will happen in the future...this is something that I don't want to change.
Do the members have these thoughts too?
They do indeed...we have discussed this, and after all, this is still something we want to protect. Some time ago, I talked about this topic with Ishimori-senpai, and she said, "As expected, I still don't want the costumes to stay completely intact after a live" (laugh). She also said that if our hair is not messy and our clothes are not dirty after finishing a performance, there will be a feeling of dissatisfaction. [When she said this] I nodded many times. I really like the unidol-like characteristic of Keyaki, and it is something I have always longed for, so I want to carry it on well.
Holding on to the happiness of being with the members
When the live performance ended, my mother contacted me and asked me, "Is Keyaki going to be gone?". My mother also said, "It's better if the name stays Keyakizaka..." (laugh). Although my mother was very concerned about my future, I said, "It'll be alright." But actually, I was quite worried. I had the anxiety of not being able to disclose the name change to my family members, and I also wanted to reassure them.
While being restless and worried, have you found an emotional compromise?
For this, I think there is no other way but to fully convince myself. Even if I don’t know when it will disappear, somehow while spending these important days I had the feeling that "As long as it’s Keyaki, maybe we can make it work." Nowadays I have this feeling once again. Before the live, perhaps because we wanted to hold on to the happiness of staying with the members for a long time, we rehearsed from morning to night. After all, the impact of the coronavirus may hinder group activities in the future. I really just want to cherish every single day.
Although it might be meaningless to look back at the past and regret it, have you ever thought, "Would there have been a different future if I did this at the time"?
Many times. (Laugh) I’ve thought about what would’ve happened if the 9th single was released successfully. The 4th anniversary live was also cancelled due to the coronavirus. It might be a little careless to say this, but sometimes I wonder why it has to be now, I feel really unsatisfied. Basically, I'm the kind of person who thinks that even if I regret the past now, it won't help, so I'm not brooding too much…
Right now, what are the elements that enable Morita-san to move forward?
What are they...? Maybe it's character (laugh). But, of course, the existence of the members have a great influence on me. We couldn't meet each other during the stay-at-home period, so I was really happy when I saw their faces and chatted with everyone remotely. After the stay-at-home period was finished, I thought that at last we could see each other, but it turned out that we had to maintain social distance. This sense of distance really made me lonely. Therefore, when rehearsals started for the live preparations, naturally I was very happy when the members chatted with me about music and talked with me leisurely about some daily trivial things. I really felt very glad and happy. Although I might be slightly exaggerating things...
I don't want to ask topics that are too serious, but have you pondered about your life?
Life?! Um... Right now I like the idol world very much, and I feel blessed to be able to do what I like every day. Although I’ve said that I don't want to be too confined to the past, I also don't consider things that are too far off in the future. I am the type that focuses on the things in front of me. Regarding life, I probably don’t think that deeply (laugh).
I see. Well, in July you turned 19 years old, what do you want to do in your last teen year?
Ah, if I can, I want to stay 19 years old forever (laugh).
Eh! That’s unexpected.
It would be great if I could stay 18 years old. Don’t you think the age of 18 is very valuable? At the age of 20, you’re an adult. Although it’s something to celebrate, I don’t want to reach adulthood so soon. Matsuda told me that when you reach 20, the flow of time accelerates a lot. That seems kind of annoying (laugh).
You should stop the time then, although it’s impossible (laugh)
For real, I want it to stop. I spoke about not looking back, but the me who was 17 and 18 seemed to have not achieved anything... That being said, maybe I want to leave some results visible to the naked eye.
No, no, no, I think that you have a steady existence in Keyakizaka46
Thank you for saying that. However, the truth is that when I’m performing on stage, I feel the happiest. It might be [because of] the sense of fulfillment, I can feel that I am alive.
Even though the voices are small, the words of the members will become my strength
I like the sense of unity that can only be expressed through performing on stage. It’s not just about the members, if the venue and the day are different, the atmosphere of the fans will also be different. People often tell me that a live is like a living creature. It really is. I can feel the venue’s current atmosphere from the voices of the members through my ear monitors. Personally, I like the atmosphere of the final day the most. From songs like "Ambivalent" that have a lot of exclamation noises, I feel more of a sense of unity and fulfillment.
For the live broadcast a while ago, I was listening with headphones at high volume. During the interlude of Garasu wo Ware, the members were shouting things. It felt really fresh. What were you guys saying?
I don't know exactly what we were saying, it was incredible. At the time, standing there, I wanted to shout out. Because everyone’s voices overlap, the impact on people will increase when we reach the final chorus, and so on... Even the low voices that can't be captured by the microphones will be transmitted to each member. This raises our emotions and also becomes a source of strength for everyone.
As expected, Morita-san is very passionate. In this interview, I heard a lot of frank words. If there is anything else you want to say, please feel free to say it.
That's right. Starting from zero again, I sincerely hope to continue hand in hand with the fans. I will cherish this spirit. Of course, I believe there are many people who love Keyaki. Me and the members as well, we all love Keyaki. We will cherish it...but, in order for us to be known by more people, the strength of everyone is also necessary. There is a limit to what members can do. If we are fortunate enough to be protected by fans in the future, it will make me happy.
Alright, I really feel the power of your words. I think the spirit and soul of Keyakizaka46 will exist forever.
Thank you for your words. I really look forward to what kind of song styles will be shown during the last live. Although when that day comes it will feel very lonely, it will definitely become the best live. Also, Ten-chan’s smiles have increased recently and she looks very happy. Seeing her like that, I was infected by her smiles.
During the live broadcast, I felt a pounding in my heart seeing Yamasaki-san’s invincible expression at the end of "Otona wa Shinjitekurenai".
Me too. When I later watched a video provided by the staff, I thought she looked very cool. Before the live, her mood was already in place, and I thought that I would be seeing a very impactful performance later. However, every night Ten-chan and I mould the playdough received as a Sawabe Award during Keyakake... She also has many cute sides. It seems a bit out of place coming from me who also had fun playing haha (laugh)
Translated from Chinese
